Freedom of Thought

I have been contemplating lately the concept of free thought. Can this exist?

Was this the aim of Adam & Eve when they bit the apple? Did their curiosity lead them to want freedom from the tyranny of influence from something else? An influence on their minds?

I wonder even now if I am a free thinker; what percentage of my thoughts, desires, dreams, feelings & ambitions – and even my self-concept! – are products of the influence of other people and the expectations of society. In this context, I worry that I have no real say. No authority. No real free-will: the supposed divine gift of humanity.

I often feel as if my thoughts are not of my own, and that I am but a wire tapped into everything that has already been and will be, and I’m just transferring pieces of this information… receiving them… and putting them into play. In this respect, if I am but a conduit, if I believe myself to be an authority, then will I be one?  Assume the role as I clothe myself in any belief, and influencing everyone around me into joining and playing the game?

It seems to me that we don’t really exist in autonomy. We are a net, symbiotic, living under the guise of individuality. Constantly influencing everything all of the time, rising and falling, living and breathing, yet not even aware of it. We think we are alone and act out of our own accord; does that even exist?

Is this what rips us apart? The malice, the backstabbing, the shade throwing – for what purpose? To insult and betray…ourselves?

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