You are almost 2 years old and I’m not sure where the time has gone. And weirdly enough, I am already bracing for the time when I won’t see you every day. When you will leave home and live a life that runs parallel to my own, and not still on my track. You are so much more than I ever hoped for in a daughter. You are so young, yet truly – know that I feel this deeply.
Having you in my arms is the most complete feeling I have ever known. This is saying a lot, I know, but you are a piece of me – and it has never been more evident that you are a piece of myself that has been knocked loose and will never rejoin. I have to be happy with the feeling of complete non-completeness. With the feeling that there is a hole that will never be filled. But yet – a hole that was meant to be? A hole that was destined to be there?
Yes, yes, a resounding YES. Not one single, infinitesimal regret.
In this way, you have taught me what the word ‘children’ really means. I’ve read it a thousand times and I’ve never truly understood it until now. The concept of ourselves as children – or the children of God – never made perfect sense until you have revealed this to me: That we are all children – both of our parents and as pieces of God – knocked loose, never to rejoin. Complete non-completeness.
But God, as the parent, exists in perfect love, perfect stillness, never judging, always embracing, as we embark on a parallel track to His own. A bittersweet, joyous and momentous occurrence. A feeling, a place, that I could not begin to fathom before now.
Thank you V, so much, for choosing me.
Love and endless Light, your Mama