Starting this blog was putting myself out there in a big way, and while part of me was exhilarated, the other half was screaming to pump the brakes. But I made the decision, ignored the introverted and fearful part of my brain and jumped into the pool, arms open, into the deep.
I have no regrets and I’m enjoying this more and more. Using this space as a collection point, a place for gathering and keeping. An opening of my heart in order to share it with the world. But I have to remind myself that while I love this space and the engagement that exists here, this was not my ultimate goal.
In essence, I do this so that I may know myself.
I truly, really, deeply, do not think well out loud through speaking, or through just thinking alone. I must write it out. For some reason this is the only way I know myself and the depths of my feelings and opinions and thoughts.
If I’m conflicted on something, putting pen to paper helps me sort it out and ask the right questions. If I’m in love with something, the written words flow and express so much more eloquently then anything spoken.
In these writings, in these words on the page or screen, these moments are sacred spaces for which I have entered into my own Self – if such a thing exists. Into the cavern that waits inside so patiently. So willingly. Stilled waters bursting with life.
I’m glad I found it. I’m glad I recognize it. I’m glad I can know myself even better than I could have imagined. Greatness is in this space, and I am only just glimpsing it.
I encourage you to follow your heart, follow it faithfully into the dark so that you may find that light – your guiding star – within.